Shhh... it happens

by Andrea Mulder-Slater

I’m the first to admit I’m not a perfect mother...

I’ve fed my kid no name brand marshmallows. For breakfast.

I’ve let her pee down the shower drain on the deck of an upscale hotel pool (yeah, you knew that was us, didn't you Courtyard Marriott?).

I’ve backed away – quickly - after she wiped her nose on a fake cashmere scarf in a clothing store (sorry Old Navy, but it's not like you’ve never sneezed).

But none of that really compares to what I did - or rather, what I bought - on Wednesday.

I'd like to say that it is totally out of character for me to pay $19.95 for a plastic dog that craps itself. But I'd be lying. Mostly because there was that time I bought my kid a stuffed toy mole with poop on its head.

Mind you, that was entirely by accident. 

In any case, Doggie Doo - the game - is now at our house and the 5 year old is in love. And why wouldn't she be? It involves a dog, that dumps.

If you're not familiar, let me educate you...

Doggie Doo comes with one wiener dog on a leash, a container of "dog food", a bone, a die and four little shovels. The object of the game is to feed the dog and be the first to collect three canine corndogs.


And, just to be clear, the mooky-sticks need to be on the table before they can be scooped. Because, of course they do.

The steps are simple. First, you feed the little fellow by sticking some of the included yellow goo in his mouth. Then, you shove the bone in the pup's mouth, you know, to create an airlock.

After that, the rules don't really matter because all anyone wants to do is watch that dachshund drop his doo all over the dining room.

Yes. It's like that. 

Usually, the pooch obliges, right down to the sound effects. Problem is... sometimes he doesn't and the yellow goo becomes, well, stuck. Understand there is a right way and a wrong way to deal with this problem and let's just say don't use your finger unless you want to answer some rather uncomfortable questions in the emergency room.

Also, it's probably not by accident that the Doggie Doo dog can be dismantled with nothing more than a screwdriver, a glass of eggnog and a few choice expletives.

In any case, when the channel is clear, the results are disgusting. But you don't have to take my word for it...

Bottom line... it doesn't take much to amuse me. Or my kid. Apparently. Next thing you know I'll be hauling home a game featuring a cat that fires hairballs out of its mouth. Are you paying attention toy manufacturers?

No, really.

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